Tuesday, October 23, 2018

In which Kristyn wins and I have an unrelated bad dream

Kristyn won with a huge majority, as did other terrific leftwing councillors - Joe Cressy, Gord Perks in Anna's ward, Josh Matlow. But the right wingers from the suburbs still outnumber our guys. As we have been since hideous Harris created the megacity, we are at the mercy of suburban councillors whose priority is fresh new highways for commuters. And we have again safe, dull Mayor Tory. No wonder this city struggles to keep up with the times, with almost no housing for the homeless, skyrocketing rents, limitless development, appalling gridlock, absurdly underfunded public transit, a pathetic number of bicycle lanes. 

However. Our guys will fight the good fight, and luckily, despite Ford's best attempts to wipe them out, what a great team of fighters we still have.

Last night's class at Ryerson had one of the most difficult moments I've ever encountered as a teacher; a pretty young student presented her piece, a light, amusing piece about something small bothering her, and another student countered with her own story of horrendous, unimaginable tragedy around more or less the same issue. I hope we got through with grace and with no one being harmed, always my main goal in this sensitive work. Another student read a piece about the guilt she felt at her inadequate response to her daughter's serious health crisis.

Last night I had a powerful dream that swamped me, that seemed to incorporate elements of what happened in class. I rarely remember my dreams, so it seems important when I do, and the details and emotion of this one will stay with me forever.

I was looking after three children, my grandson and a brother and sister, a pretty blonde girl of about 7. We were exploring a town I didn’t know, and we stopped at a building that housed a film studio. The girl was anxious to go inside and the boys were not, so they stayed outside and she and I went in. Something was being filmed in a big bright room with sets and costumes all around, and she was thrilled, slipping quickly away from me toward the action. I was whispering desperately, trying to catch and pull her back, but she was already far into where the cameras were. I didn’t want to follow her, interrupt filming and make the situation worse, and was concerned about the boys outside, so I decided to go find them and wait for her to come out. But when I got out, the boys weren’t there, so I set out to look for them and kept going far through the town, looking.

Eventually, panic struck. I realized a little girl was alone on a movie set, and I had to find her and make sure she was safe. But I couldn’t remember where the studio building was. After trying one door after another, I was exhausted and realized it might be far away. I decided, strangely, to call my mother to come help, and because walking would take too long, I should get a cab to take me around. But then I realized – my purse with my phone and my money was gone. Lost children and no way to call for help or pay for help.

I woke up frantic.

After my psychoanalysis, I learned to analyze my dreams. But I'm going to leave this dream of child abandonment and poor choices for now. 

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