absolutely final floor finale

I couldn't sleep last night for worrying, spent the day fretting, putting down pieces of the hardwood flooring, looking, walking around them. I thought, it's nice wood but perhaps it's just not right for ME. It's matte, absorbs light. It's a funny muddy brown. But pretty. I think it's lovely, my daughter wrote, which eased my heart for a few moments.

Then my old friend Ron, a businessman who has bought and sold a bunch of houses, came to see. Absolutely not, he said. The ground floor is pale wood, and flow is vital, continuity; the second floor should be the same. You should return it and get the light wood. I agreed. I am a light wood person. How did I not know that? I knew that but thought I'd try something new and different.

I thought of the poor floor guys who'd hauled in twenty - twenty! - heavy boxes of this brown wood, and of the delay and complications in changing my mind. And then I talked to JM about what I'd like to do.

Surprise! Because we bought remaindered wood, there's no returning it. I did not know that. Surprise! So either I live with it, or I throw away $2000.

All righty then.

It's fine. Yes, there will be no flow between the ground floor and the second floor. So what? Who needs flow? It's not ugly, it's just not light. It's possible I will get used to it and even grow to like it. And if I don't - one word - rugs.

What stress. What pounding of the heart for such a First World Problem. And yet, this floor is something I'm going to live with possibly for the rest of my life. So let's hope it works out.

Again, friends have come to my aid, offering advice long distance, though unfortunately, in the end, it didn't help. Chris wrote, you're the most opinionated person I know, how can you not have an opinion about your own floors? But this reno, as I've written before, has brought out all my insecurities. In this instance I had no idea what to do and floundered, and made possibly the wrong choice. Possibly the right one. I guess I'll find out when I move back upstairs and live with it.

Carole, a blog friend in England whom I've never met, wrote that she is going through exactly the same thing with her reno - that after the floor guys had hauled in all the boxes through the snow, she realized she hated what she'd chosen and wanted to send it back. She had bought retail and so had the luxury of changing her mind. But her floor guy was unhappy, and mine, Zoltan, will be thrilled, Monday morning, to get to work.

Onward. There are many more important things to think about. Nuclear proliferation is starting again. I'll try to get my mind off the floor.