it's looking a lot like Covid

So - everything here up in the air, right now. My top floor tenant Robin, who came home a week ago from nearly 3 weeks in London, took one of my home Covid tests, and it was positive. He then had a more official PCR test and is awaiting the results. He has no symptoms, and he and I have not been dancing together, no spewing droplets here, but he does live in my house. 

Sam is nervous and does not want to come until we know Robin's status. He was due to come over this afternoon bringing various things we need, including a cage for - yes! - Hamlet the hamster. When I got to the pet store at noon, I learned they'd sold 5 hamsters already this morning, and I bought the last! Thank heavens I got there in time. He's happily ensconced in a temporary cage with seeds, water, a cardboard house, and a toilet roll to chew. 

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse ... except Hamlet.

Anna is sanguine about the risks, as am I - we both assume we'll all get this thing at some point. She was extremely busy yesterday preparing big meals for scores of Indigenous elders. Sam came to help her. I am very proud of my children. 

But I always feel that Christmas is one hell of a hard and exhausting job for women. Name one man who does half of what women do to prepare the day: presents, tree, meal, even setting the table and decorating the house - it's a huge job, and it's done, almost exclusively, by one sex. When I think of what Xmases used to be for me, it's a wonder I survived - buying presents for the kids from me but also from relatives who sent money so I could buy something from them; my demanding gourmet parents and others arriving for the holiday and various meals. To add a little more stress, I produced the pageant on Xmas Eve and was also dealing with divorce, the kids going back and forth from one household to another, perhaps a little more fragile than kids who stayed put. 

None of that, now, and yet there's still stress, many lists, do we have everything we need? Will everyone feel loved and cared for? Should I rush out and get more? It's crazy. No wonder people snap. The city is insane today - a fresh snowfall that's melting already, the roads and stores jam-packed - how is this in any conceivable way a festival celebrating the Prince of Peace? 

And now, here, we may not be celebrating at all. But I will cook the turkey and there will be presents, no matter what. My tree is very small but my heart is big. At this point, I wrap everything. I bought a bag of Thomas's favourite almonds at the market yesterday; they're under the tree. Now time to fill the bird feeder, so everyone, with feathers and without, has enough. At least, everyone around here. How very many, I know and I mourn, will not have enough. 

Maybe one day these boys, in the Christmas pyjamas Holly buys them every year, will realize how lucky they are, to be so loved.

My ex just wrote that because of infected cast members they had to cancel all the Xmas theatre programming he's been working months to produce. I hope against hope no one around you tests positive, except for joyful good spirits. 

Merry Christmas to you all. 

PS: Robin took the home test again: positive. I just took it; it's like waiting for a pregnancy test. Mine was negative. 

Negative! HOORAY! All systems go.